Iraqi Jokes
1. After Saddam's invasion to Kuwait in 1991 and the withdrawal of his army, he called it (The mother of all battles) and claimed victory. Of course; Saddam's victory means he is still alive and the president of Iraq and the Hero of the National Liberation of the (thugs)!! One day during the sanction time, there was a ragged, poor and starved man with worn-out clothes as a result of (the mother of all pitfalls) was walking in the centre of Baghdad. He was shouting (God helps America; God helps America). The secret police surrounded him and asked him what did you mean by God helps America? He said; If we are the victorious and our conditions as bad as this, so what will be the condition of the American the losers of the war (God helps them!)
2. In a visit to his soldiers in Kuwait, Saddam asked one of them about his name and the soldier shouted Jabar Sir. Saddam asked; what is that in your hands? The solider shouted; it is my rifle Sir. Quickly the solider had a strong slap over his face and Saddam told him; fool; it is your honour, it is your dignity it is your wife. The solider replied with loud shouting; yes Sir it is my wife and my honour. Saddam then went to the next solider and asked him what is your name? He said while shivering; Hammed Sir. Saddam asked; what is that in your hands? The solider replied with a big trembling shout; it is the wife of Jabar Sir!!
3. After the death of Saddam he met Hitler and Stalin in the Hell and they started to talk proudly about their ways of tortures! Hitler was talking about the Holocaust and Stalin was talking how he used to cut the bodies of his prisoners. Then Saddam whispered in their ears and both of them jumped up and shouted loudly; don’t you fear God Saddam?!
4. A Bedouin (nomad person) went to Baghdad and saw the double Decker for the first time. He shouted; Oh my God what an accident!! Two cars over each other!!
5. A person with double vision due to a squint went for the honeymoon. His friends asked him what did you think about it; have you enjoyed it? He said; how I enjoy it and all the time my wife's twin sister sitting with her?!
6. One of the clergy men in Tikrit who received a French car as a gift from the American forces asked them about the function of the fifth gear. They told him if you put it on the fifth it will fly! Next day he was driving and saw an accident in front of him and he said; ok good, it is time to fly on the fifth gear!
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